My 1st One Night Stand

I hardly get a chance to go out clubbing here in LA because 1) it's so damn expensive, 2) I live 45 minutes from downtown LA without traffic, and 3) well, there really isn't a third reason, I'm just so frickin lazy that I'd only go out if someone were willing to drive my fat ass around town.

So when I finally was given the opportunity to venture out to an LA nightclub, I had to do it big. On this particular night, about the third or fourth week of my moving to LA, my boy Khasha picked me up and we headed down to Anaheim to meet up with one of his classmates, Nemo. Apparently, this guy's on that baller status and is a big partier (is that even a word?). So we get to his place and it's crazy. The ultimate bachelor pad. It was so baller that it even made ME blush like a little school girl. The whole time I'm thinking, "This guy's in med school but he's already living like a doctor!"

So we prefunk it, belt out the usual empty prefunk chants like, "We're sooo bringing bitches back this apartment tonight!" and head over to this club called Sutra where we meet up with more of Khasha's med school classmates and proceed to drink and dance like dirty little pirate whores.

Towards the end of the night, I blackout and this is where things get interesting:

We went to a Mexican place called Alberto's and let me tell you how bomb their burritos are. Their burritos are so bomb, that one bite brought me out of my blackout. Seriously! The series of events that I can recall from that night are drinking, dancing, blackout, taking three bites of that burrito, blackout, and then all of a sudden I'm waking up on the floor of Nemo's place.

When I woke up, the first thing I said to the guys was, "Hey, I might have been dreaming...but did we go to a burrito place last night?"

"Yeah, you took a couple bites of your burrito and then you couldn't stop repeating, 'This is so good' over and over again. Then you stuck your head out of the car window on the I-5 and threw up on the freeway all the way to Nemo's house, where we had to pick you up and throw you on the floor."

"Nice! So you're telling me there are still left overs of the burrito?"

"Yes."

"And it wasn't a dream?!"

"No."

Can you imagine my excitement?! Thinking that it had all been just a delicious dream, only to wake up and find out it were true! I wish that had happened that one time I had that dream where I was married to Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel and while we were doin the nasty mcnasty in our mansion in Hawai'i, Oprah calls me up and tells me she really doesn't need all her money anymore. But oh well, I've digressed.

So there it was!! I had only eaten half of the burrito and the other half was sitting in the fridge staring up at me, calling me, seducing me, giving me those come hither eyes that R Kelly only uses in preschools.

I didn't even warm that shit up, I grabbed it and as I was going to take a bite of it, I thought "What if it doesn't live up to my memory? I was drunk. The burrito was fresh and warm eight hours ago. What if I hyped it up in my mind and this burrito is actually crap?"

Screw it. I took a bite.

And it was GLORIOUS! The heavens opened up, light shined on my face, and I think I saw the virgin Mary. Every happy vision imaginable popped into my mind: naked women with horns trumpeting, unicorns dancing, Jesus eating ice cream on a merri-go-round.

My mouth engaged in premarital mastication and then passed it on to my stomach as if to say, "Here you go fella, Merry early Christmas!" And then it was done. The sexy pahhty was over and and I was left thoroughly satisfied.

But as I looked down at the now empty wrapper, I couldn't help but feel a little dirty.

"Just put the money on the dresser and leave!", I thought.

And that was the last time I saw her.

Did I feel cheap? Yes.

A little used? Maybe.

But there was definitely love there. And that's all that matters.

Interview with a Samurai

Man it's been a while since I've put up a blog! But I just needed to tell you all about what happened yesterday cause it was so crazy!

So I get a call from my casting agency the other day telling me that they booked me for an "interview" for a part on a Spike TV show and to make sure that I "look hardcore" when I go in. So that night, they send me an email with some reading material that they wanted me to go over before I went in. It was a couple pages long full of information on Samurai warriors and their weapons. OK, easy enough.

So the next day, I put on my "hardcore" Dickies shirt over a wife beater and jeans and head off to the "interview". When I get there, I speak with a casting director who asks me if I have any martial arts weapons experience. He then hands me his card and tells me he likes my look and that he's gonna tell the others that I would also be good to play a Yakuza as well as a Samurai.

This whole time I'm thinking, "Seriously? I'm about five shades darker than everyone in here!" But I don't say that cause I want the job.

So he continues to tell me that once in the room, I need to BE the samurai and don't smile. "Samurai's are full of honor and confidence! BE the Samurai!...And think about what you're going to be doing with the Katana."

"Wait, what? Katana??"

"Yeah, they're gonna have some props with them. Didn't you say you had some experience with it?"

"Some. But it's been a while -"

"Great! Just make sure you play to the camera. Charge it once with the katana silently, retreat, and then a second time making noise."

"OK?"

So now I'm in the hallway, waiting my turn, looking like a jackass as I practice my Katana slices with an imaginary Katana blade!

So I get called in and there are two people there: a woman and a cameraman. The cameraman attaches a mic to my shirt and the woman writes my name and number on a sheet. I was soo nervous! But whole time I'm thinking about what the casting director had told me and I'm mean muggin it. I got this full on serious, mean, Bruce Lee in the midst of a fight thing going on with my face.

They begin asking me questions:
"So who are the Samurai?"

"We are the most elite warriors in the Japanese army!"

"Talk about some Japanese weapons"

"We have the most high quality weapons in the world! The best of which is a Katana which is the most balanced weapon, good for long range and close range!"

"Who would win in a fight: a Samurai or a Viking?"

"A samurai of course would win! The katana would slice completely through the viking's shield, killing him instantly!"

"OK, thank you"

What? That's it? No katana demonstration? My voice was trembling the whole time! Luckily I was able to hold my Bruce Lee face. And so they took the mic and I left thinking, how much that felt like an audition rather than an "interview". How messed was that! I'd like to mentally prepare myself for an audition! Preparing for an interview and preparing for an audition are two totally different things! I was thinking so much about what I was gonna do with the Katana that I completely flopped on the questions! I had a whole thing choreographed and everything! Bastards!

I don't think I got it but oh well, you live and learn and it WAS a pretty funny situation. I'm hoping maybe even though I kinda fumbled with the answers, they liked my look enough to cast me as Yakuza or at least some kind of nonspeaking part. But we'll see.

Drop, Lock, and Caucus!!

This election is by far the most interested I've ever been in any election in my whole life. Not only because of the possibility of witnessing history and potentially seeing a Black man or woman in the White House, but mainly because the huge effect this election will have on the way our nation will operate and be viewed in years to come.

Sure, every election has an effect on our nation, but this current administration has fucked things up SO bad that the outcome of this election will dictate more change than ever before.

In previous years (specifically these past two terms), like many of my peers, I really never cared to follow the debates closely, if even at all. I always figured that I'm only one person, a minority of minorities at that, and things will fall into place in a way that won't drastically effect the way we live life in America. However, after witnessing this administration, which I think it's more than safe to say that it's the worst in the history of our country, along with being a little bit older, I feel it's time to get my ass in the mix.

So this past weekend, I headed out to my first caucus with some friends. None of us had ever voted before so we didn't know what to expect. We found our group within our precinct, signed our ballots and looked at each other like, "Is that it?" Pretty much. The whole things seemed like a place where you can get together with fellow Americans within your community and debate on why you support who you support, in hopes to sway their vote towards your candidate by the end of the event. So we decided to mingle with everyone in our group, both Hillary and Obama supporters, to hear the reason behind their votes. It was very interesting.

I recall one Hillary supporter, a white man probably mid to late thirties, stating the reason behind his vote for Hillary was because he felt that she had more political power, which allowed her to raise more money, and he couldn't support someone who had a hard time raising money. My friend, Lull, whom I was with, rebutted him with, "You say Obama can't raise any money, but since Super Tuesday, he raised five million-", a man interrupts Lull, correcting him, "Seven million", Lull continues, "Correction: seven million dollars". To where I added, "And didn't Hillary have to come out the pocket four or five million dollars?" The guy didn't have anything to say after that until he turned to Lull and referred to his skin color, "Well, a lot of African Americans ARE supporting Obama." To where Lull replied, "Yeah, a lot of the young voters are voting for him." And the guy had the audacity to get offended from that!

The most interesting Hillary supporter was this one, a white woman in her late forties, who pulled a Hillary and totally cried in front of everyone. The ONLY reason behind her vote was because Hillary was proposing universal healthcare. As she said that, you can see everyone on the Obama side looking at each other like, "Wait. Did I miss something? Obama is proposing universal healthcare too!" She then began crying as she told us a story of a man she saw in the grocery store with cancer and how he wouldn't be able to be treated otherwise. Frickin a'!

But, all in all, it was good. For the most part, a lot of the people there (or at least in our group) were emotionally driven towards their candidate and I was kinda hoping for debates that were more based on the politics. But oh well, it was a great experience to have.

Obama for your mama!

Polynesians + Snow = Hilarious!

Just watch this and you'll understand....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpC58RD7w1I

Rock Band!!

Rock Band..."It's amazing!".."It's so much fun, you gotta play it!"

Those are pretty much the two statements I get when I talk to other people about it. You know, honestly, I wouldn't doubt it, it looks like a lot of fun...but I've never played it. Hell, I've can count on one hand the amount of times I've ever played Guitar Hero! (I'm counting three)

So a number of weeks ago (not sure exactly how many weeks but all I know is that it was the weekend that the Seahawks got booted from the playoffs), the people in my reggae band get together to watch the game and put together a set list for this year's Hawai'i club luau (we're opening for Rebelution; April 19, bet there!) and as the game winds down, we begin talking about the phenomenon that is Rock Band.

We then realize that none of us has ever played it either! And the more we talk about it, the more we want to play it! So we begin brainstorming on ways we could play it but as we realize that no one we know has the damn thing, we begin putting our hopes into that chance that maybe video rental stores rent out the game along with the peripherals. So I grab the yellow pages and proceed to call every video rental place within a driving radius hoping for a chance to play this wonderful game.

But as the rejections pile up, hours go by, and our hopes for playing Rock Band dwindles, we begin to sit silently in a large pool of sulk, cussing out the Seahawks for their loss, all the while still hoping for some sign from the heavens that would help us acheive our goal. Alas, nothing....but depression.

Then one of my band mates exclames, "You know what, why are we trippin' on this Rock Band thing?! We are a band! We do the real frickin' thing!"

And as he said that, we all looked at each other and began laughing. Because during that whole time we spent trying to play Rock Band, that had never crossed our minds and we realized that we still had to come up with a set list for the luau.

The End.

I still wanna play Rock Band though! Does anyone have it?

A little too much fun at work....

So a friend and I were talking about how boring the work force is and how sometimes you gotta pull pranks in the office to keep things interesting. She sent me this and I think this was one of the best work pranks I've ever heard of....She looks pissed...

Speechless....

Watch this and you will be too. This video messes with my mind cause this bootlegged Where's Waldo is doing such a good job during the girl parts that he almost looks like he's transforming into a girl...like, i swear he's even grows boobs in the middle of it........yeah...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-CS2v8wcc

Mmmmm...peanut butter...

Being poor sucks!! This is what I'm eating for dinner tonight!

On a different note, I'm really having a hard time finishing up my list of 101 things in 1001 days (http://clihi101.blogspot.com/). Anyone got any suggestions?

Why being from Hawai'i does NOT mean that you're Hawai'ian.

So I'm browsing around facebook and I stumble across a group that I had skimmed through briefly last year, only to overlook it, and completely forget about it until just now. The group's name: Why do all mainland people think that ALL people from Hawai'i are Hawai'ians?

After having looked through it again, re-reading some posts from Haoles (white people) as they argue against the Hawai'i people, comparing being Hawai'ian to being a Washingtonian or Californian or Texan; I immedietely became extremely irritated and regretted to even putting myself through such ignorance.

I remember the first time I became aware that such confusion between being Hawai'ian and being from Hawai'i existed when I moved to Seattle for the first time to attend UW back in the Fall of 2001. Back home, you say you're Hawai'ian, people know you're talking about blood. In fact, Hawai'ian is the only ethnicity which houses this confusion. People from the states would say stuff like, "You're from Hawai'i too? Wow, there's a lot of Hawai'ians up here!", and I'd say, "Not really...There's probably about 4, maybe 5 of us that I know of." They would then proceed to point to a nearby group of Asians and say, "But there's a bunch of Hawai'ians over there", to where, I'd reply, "You mean those Japanese kids from Hawai'i? They're not Hawai'ian."
"But aren't they from Hawai'i?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't make them Hawai'ian."

From there, I'd usually get one of two reactions: either they'd look back with complete confusion or they'd look at me as if I was retarded and I didn't know what I was talking about.

But hey, fair enough. Unfortunately, because of the media, most people outside of Hawai'i really don't know much outside of, "Hey do you dance hula? Do you surf? Can you play the 'ukulele (theyd' pronounce it "yuku-laylay)? I love Don Ho!"

So I'd just explain it to them with this analogy:
"If a black guy comes from Japan, would you say, 'Look at that Japanese guy over there?'"
They'd reply, "No, of course not, because Japanese is an actual ethnicity."
And I'd tell them, "Yes, just like Hawai'ian is an actual ethnicity. Hawai'i only became a state in '59, a territory in 1893, and hundreds and hundreds of years before that, it was it's own country with it's own native people."
"Oh, cool. I didn't know that."
And usually that's enough for them to understand (well, for the brown people at least) and the topic of conversation would end there.

But then I started to meet these other people, who incidently are the ones with the irritatingly ignorant posts in the facebook group; the ones who still don't understand this concept even after hearing said analogy (or variations of it). They continue to relate being Hawai'ian to being Washingtonian and show no interest in learning more and/or incredible culture block. It then became obvious that these people don't even care about getting it right and all they care about is calling you what they feel comfortable with and are accustomed to; because when it was all said and done and everyone one of their Washingtonian arguments fell through, they resorted to saying "Well, it shouldn't be a big deal. All the people there grew up in Hawai'i, in the same culture, so it's pretty much the same thing. Just relax."

Honestly, the only real argument against us would be that technically, the real term for Hawai'ians is Kanaka Ma'oli and that the word "Hawai'ian" is a generic term started by Captain Cooke and his men. However, when Cooke first came up with this term, it only applied to the natives, so we'd really be back to square one with this argument.

These people just don't seem to get it. So here's the real explanation of why it's such a big deal and hopefully people will understand it more after reading this:

Because of colonialism, the number of Hawai'ians (%50 pure and over) in the world has dropped from over a million, in the 1700's, to presently below 10,000 (these numbers were taken in the 90's so I'm sure the number is much lower by now). But of course we're always gonna have people from Hawai'i "claiming" that their aunty's cousin's brother's mom's dog is Hawai'ian, thus making them Hawai'an too, all the while donning an Asian last name.

But we're not counting them and that's not the irritating part...This goes way deeper than names..

Census studies predict that by the year 2020, Hawai'ians will be an extinct ethnicity. These numbers were taken from a study done while making the documentary, And Then There Were None. The documentary went on to explain that Hawai'ians are the most homeless ethnicity and suffer from the most third world diseases, per capita, in the US...ALL BECAUSE OF COLONIALISM. Imagine if, when white people were raping, killing, spreading diseases, and kicking Native Americans off their land, there were NO reservations to go to; then you'd have Hawai'i. So at least Native American's had something to go to, even if it was a reservation.

So excuse me for being proud of my endangered blood (especially when I'm one of the few lucky enough to still have a Hawai'ian last name) and for getting irritated as you haoles go around labeling anyone who's anyone a Hawai'ian. Shouldn't you see the error in your ways if even non-Hawai'ians are getting upset over all of this as well?

It's like...say if Ethiopia (or any other country for the matter, you fill in the blank), one day, somehow becomes the 51st state and over a century and a half, through routine US "nation building tactics", there became just one Ethiopian left in the world. Now let's say that a bunch of haoles and Asians just so happened to pass through Ethiopia on their way to the US only to arrive on American soil to be now called "Ethiopians" by these culture oblivious white Americans. "They came from Ethiopia, right? They gotta be Ethiopian!"

Wouldn't you think that this last Ethiopian would be pissed?! He'd be like, "Mother freckle, WTF are you talking about?! Those people aren't Ethiopian!! I'm Ethiopian!! Those people just came from Ethiopia!! First you kill my people, then you take my land, now you take the only remaining identifying thing I have left and can be proud of?! My ethnicity?! And what's worst is that you don't care!! Fuck you!!"

Add to that, the fact that the US Marines (without the consent of President Cleveland) in 1893 (back when Hawai'i still was a monarchy) held our Queen hostage in her own palace for a number of days until she signed over Hawai'i to the US; then you would kinda understand why people are pissed off.

But in the end, I guess we do have to be a little bit more patient with these haoles because, for the most part, white Americans (not all; mainly the ignorant ones who don't understand this concept no matter what you say) don't really or can't really grasp the concept of culture; because, as harsh as it sounds, they have none. Look at what's deemed as "American" culture: hot dogs, french fries, pizza, burgers...I mean, make a list of anything you think "American culture" is and it's practically a list of stuff stolen from other cultures. Hot dogs and burgers are from Germany, pizza's from Italy, french fries are from Belgium; the only true "American culture" I could think of is sports, oppression, and capitalism. So I guess it makes sense that haoles in the states have a hard time showing compassion and comprehending the concept of culture outside of "their own".

Like I said, not all haoles are like this. For the most part, those who don't understand the difference between being Hawai'ian and being from Hawai'i seem to be the haoles who are so self richeous in their American existence that they think that different cultures stem from America instead of consolidate in it. These are the people who, instead of wanting to learn about the culture and accepting it for what it is, choose to set their minds on what the culture is "supposed to be" according to them and feel that someone else's culture must be explained, approved, and answer to them, only to get into a "debate" that shouldn't be even present in the first place.

It's like knowing nothing about math, going up to a mathematician and starting a debate on why you'd rather say "1+1=11" than "1+1=2". Sure you've got some coherence in your arguments and you're speaking in complete sentences, but THAT'S JUST NOT THE WAY IT IS and you end up crossing the line from wanting to learn about our culture into just being irritating by telling us how it's supposed to be and should be just because you can't understand it.

And that's why people from Hawai'i get irritated when you go around calling anyone from Hawai'i, "Hawai'ian".

Cloverfield Review

So Friday night I go and watch the highly anticipated flick Cloverfield and as I'm sitting in the dark, watching trailers of upcoming drama/thrillers (it's obvious that previews of similar genres are chosen with the intention of setting the mood for the main feature) and waiting for the previews to end, something unexpected happens. Sandwiched between the trailers for Wanted (a new super-agent movie starring Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman) and Jumper was the trailer for Step It Up 2: The Streets. WTF?!

Man, what a scam! The producers of this flick were probably using the hype of Cloverfield on opening night to push this trailer that would probably otherwise go unseen (I watched Cloverfield again on Sunday and the trailer wasn't there anymore; I'll get into that later). Which is pretty clever, but I could just see J.J. Abrams was saying, "Uhh..This movie is about dancing...in the streets, apparently. It bares no resemblance to my movie whatsoever besides the fact that we both use human beings in it and it takes place on planet Earth", and they were like, "I don't care! Who do have to f*ck to get this trailer to show before Cloverfield?!" "Hmm...Step into my office."

Moving on..

Cloverfield plays exactly and entirely as if you were to literally find a camera on the street, pop in the tape, and watch it. There's no soundtrack and no credits until the very end. It's like a long youtube video as it just throws you into the lives of these people and ends just as abruptly, leaving you in the dark thinking, "That was cool...but did I like it?" It goes against the formula that we've come to expect from Hollywood monster Blockbusters and like your favorite movie star crush coming up to you, flashing you, slapping you in the face, and walking away; you'll be sitting there in silence, staring at the ending credits for a couple of seconds trying to process what just happened until you look around aimlessly and exclaim "That was frickin' awesome!"

The only remotely negative thing I can think of is that it doesn't follow the usual Hollywood formula, which to me, isn't a negative at all. It's actually quite refreshing. The special effects were awesome and the actors do a great job in coming across as believable and real, proving once again that there's a lot of young talent and you don't necessarily need big names in a big movie. Using "no name" actors also helped strengthen the dramatic element in that you felt that anyone could die at any given moment.

Yesterday, I got the oppurtunity to watch it again since my friend really wanted to watch it to the point where he was like, "I'll spot you", and hey, I'm not one to turn down a free movie, so why the hell not? So I go in for a second screening, trying to be more critical about the movie and watching it how I'd watch movies in my film classes. The flick ends and I'm still in awe. Great story, great characters, great acting, great job of pulling the audience into this world, great CGI (I was worried that I had built up the monster so much in my head that when they finally showed it, I'd be disappointed..but I wasn't), and just as good as the first time I saw it.

This is most definitely a MUST SEE in the theaters. The only people I can see who wouldn't like this movie are those who hate on any movie that's "different" and those who easily get motion sickness (i.e. just like in Blair Witch) because there's a lot more movement in this flick than in BW. If you're of the latter, I suggest you suck it up and watch the damn thing. If you're of the first group, I suggest you do the same.

NO ONE should miss this flick.

I give it:
5/5 Manhattan destroying beasts.